


everything i wanted

by Luminee



Series: late night drabbles [6]
Category: ATEEZ (Band), K-pop
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmare, Songfic, i get inspired that way apparently, it ends well!, jongjoong rise!, mention of drowning, putting my tiny stone on the jongjoong tag, this is so short im sorry, yes another damn songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23417089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luminee/pseuds/Luminee
Summary: i had a dream i had everything i wanted but when i wake up i see you, with me
Relationships: Choi Jongho & Kim Hongjoong, Choi Jongho/Kim Hongjoong
Series: late night drabbles [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783714
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	everything i wanted

**Author's Note:**

> hiya it's me again  
> im just feeding the jongjoong nation (aren't we like 5?) with a really quick songfic i suddenly wrote bc i had a lot of feelings and was listening to everything i wanted by billie eilish on repeat like an emo kid  
> also i didn't re-read so if there's any mistake im so sorry  
> n e way i hope you ENJOY <3

Jongho stared at the ocean in front of him. He suddenly felt so tiny in comparison of the immensity of the sea. 

His hands were tensed around the wheel of the car. Still he felt so light. Like the weight he had been carrying on his shoulders for so long had finally gone away. 

Jongho had desperately build himself up in the naive hope that his body would eventually be strong enough to carry it.

Everything was dark but he could see clearly. It felt like the waves were calling him. 

A familiar sound like an old song that would often pop up in his head. An old song that always stuck up with him. 

Emotions were overflowing in his chest but he could not put names on what he was feeling. A mix of everything and nothing at the same time. A weird feeling of peace and anxiety mixing up together, blocking his breathe, yet liberating his mind. 

Sitting in a car. In front of the ocean. Not any other noise than the waves crashing on the sand. The salty smell of the water rushing through his nose. 

It felt right. 

He closed his eyes a second. The sea was calling him and its voice was stronger than any other voices in his head. Old recollections of things he had been told and his own inner saboteur. 

Worthless. Incompetent. Weak. Useless. You’re not even able to kill yourself correctly. The waves seemed stronger, washing away the hurtful words like they would have done for shells. 

If they had knew what they had said would have gone straight to his head what would have they say instead? 

Jongho opened his eyes and stepped on the accelerator. He had never been so sure of himself. 

It did not take long before the car sunk into the water. He did not raised his foot, not until he was sure there were no turning back possible. 

Water run inside the car, from the front, the back, the windows, it came from everywhere, soaking Jongho up as the vehicle sunk more and more. He did not close his eyes. His whole body was under water now and his mixed feelings seemed to drown with him. For a second, he felt nothing. It was neither good nor bad but it was all he had ever wanted. Not feeling anymore. 

I had a dream I got everything I wanted.

He was about to close his eyes and dive in his longest sleep ever when he saw something in the passenger sit. 

Hongjoong. 

Hongjoong eyes were bulging. Scared and sad at the same time. 

Jongho tried to scream but his head was already underwater. The peaceful wish he had had earlier turned into a nightmare. He tried to reach for Hongjoong but he suddenly was so far away and his hand was too weak to reach him. 

He felt arms hugging his waist. Jongho woke up. He almost jumped and took a big deep inspiration. 

“Jongho, it’s okay,” whispered a very soft voice into his ear, “I’m here.” 

He still had the feeling that he had been drowning and had just been rescued. Hongjoong’s face was just above his, his figure gently lighted up by a ray of moon from outside. It took several minutes and ten or so gentle stroking in his hair for Jongho to breathe normally and to totally wake up, brushing away the last traces of his nightmare. Hongjoong held him a little bit tighter, murmuring sweet and reassuring words like it was a lullaby. 

When Jongho took back his senses he curled up a bit more into his boyfriend arms and the latter kissed his forehead softly. He did not have to explain his nightmare, Hongjoong had felt his distress. Hongjoong rescued him. “I love you,” said Jongho in a raspy voice. 

Hongjoong kissed him on his lips, “I love you too,” he answered. 

And Jongho knew that as long as it was the case, no one could hurt him ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading  
> you can find me on twitter @woobrioche


End file.
